I was going to wait for more votes on the last blog to finish the story, but apparently people have other demands on their time. (Did that sound whiny?)
Addie is player B. She was unaware that the violin had been hung on the stand, and was further unaware that the stand was behind her when she backed up.
Honey and my initial response to her confession (kudos to her for bringing it up first, by the way), was typified by 10 years of insurance employment: determine proportional negligence. No doubt, Addie should have been more aware of her environment; but player A hung her violin from a junior high music stand by its scroll, for the love of Pete!
So here was my prepared speech for PA's parents:
"This is the sequence of events as Addie explained them to me. Is this what you understand from your daughter? ("Yes;" or "No," followed by an appeal to the witnesses) To tell you the truth, if the situation were reversed, I'd be chewing my daughter out for being so careless with her instrument. I wouldn't be calling you at all. I would feel my daughter's poor judgment more than outweighed someone else's clumsiness. Therefore, we will pay no more than 40%."
Here is what I heard when PA's mother called:
"Hi, you Addie's mom? I A's mom. Addie and A play together ev'ry day, very nice. They friends, they tell you. They stay friends. A's violin neck broke, very bad. You pay half, kids stay friends. How you pay?" (insert oriental accent of choice.)
I'll spare you the broken explanation of a Summerhays repair estimate and the repeated appeals to friendship and demands for half. The estimated repair is $200. So here is what I actually said. "If this were my daughter's violin, I wouldn't call you for any money. She shouldn't have hung her violin from a music stand. But for my daughter's sake, we'll pay no more than $100." (estimates being what they are).
So we are paying for peace, not for justice.
Follow up question: how much, if any, of the repair should Addie be responsible for, or is this just filed under "Sometimes Life Sucks"?
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I am completely and totally with you. I would hide my kid if she did such a stupid thing like hanging her violin BY THE SCROLL like that. I would then proceed to make her pay for the repair, whether through chores or babysitting money. And I would not require that the other parents pay.
ReplyDeleteBut, also like you, I would go the extra mile and pay half of the estimate if I were required. I don't think it's wimpy, but I do think it is what is meant by the scripture in the Bible about turning the other cheek. I say good call.
Honestly, I did it because I remeber being 14, and being embarrassed by my parents. Addie just wants this to go away as painlessly as possible. So, I'm filing it under "Wouldn't it be great if everyone were like me; oh, well, they aren't" and we are waiting for PA's family to present the bill (partially paid, of course).
ReplyDeleteThanks for your comment!